The child within

You can judge my body, you can condemn my body, you can use my body, you can take joy of this earthly shell. But you then will be blind towards the soul that enlightens it from within and you will be deaf towards the soul that speaks out of it.

It is the soul of a child who does not yet understand that it lives in this body having a certain gender. It is the soul of a child who curiously discovers its world. Touching, smelling, tasting - full of lust for adventure, not aware of any danger or injury.

This child is pure love, pure warmth, pure light.

This child could be you as well.

Krieger des Lichts

Where is this warrior of light? Where is this true, righteous soul that has humbly and patiently passed through the deepest and darkest valleys? Where is this person who has experienced injuries too often and has recognized its pain as its most valuable strength? Where is this man, who is aware of both the hardness and the tenderness of life, and who, with every breath, dives into this adventure even more uncompromisingly and deeply - knowing that he can surrender himself for the sake of his heart?
This warrior of light will one day cross mine on his way. And we will recognise ourselfs in the eyes of the other. And we will love each other the way we live. Uncompromising, authentic, patient, humble and grateful.

One last time

Wet roads remain in the dark

And people are sitting in warm cafes

When the days get colder

And long nights covers me in shadow 

I wish that voice fell silent

Which still lets me know

I can’t make you love me

Nor can I make

Your heart beating for me

If it goes its own way

Therefore, do not tell me any lies

Just lie down

Lie down one last time

And hold me dear

Let us enjoy the last hours

Before you drag the door behind you

History that flows into the past

I can’t make you love me

Nor can I make

Your heart beating for me

If it goes its own way

Therefore, please, remain silent now

Let me feel your warmth

I will touch your skin again

Let me forget this world for a while

Until our last morning awakes

I wish that voice fell silent

Which lets me know

I can’t make you love me

Nor can I make

Your heart beating for me

If it goes its own way

But I know, I’ve lived that love

I know, I’ve lived for that love

Profound confession

When a soul comes into this world it is innocent. It finds itself unconscious - unaware of itself. It does not know about separation. It is not aware of male or female. It just is.

Recently I realized that I am a being not willing to accept separation. After 41 years I still find myself in a state where I do not accept finding myself in a female body. My heart and my soul are the ones of a child. Unconscious - genderless. Made female only by a counterpart. And when men force sudden, obvious seduction, I feel lost. Instead of being able to building up a connection, I am forced back into this awareness of separation. Finding myself reduced to a female shell. In this separation I feel misunderstood, invisible, lonely - it is beyond words. The more I am longing for interpenetration, the more I feel the solitude. Simultaneously. The only way merging can happen is to subtile become porous, weightless, fluid, soft.

Seduction starts far away from embodiment, but if meant, it accomplishes there. And when so, it holds nothing less than the potential of profound healing. It is when separation, time and space disolves. It is when the energy of souls coalescence. Air like, water like, fire like. It is the state, where human beings ultimately are meant to be.